Nonviolent Communication madlib

I think some kids may enjoy an NVC madlib game to get familiar with OFNR (or just FN); here's one version to get things started. best,Bob

Nonviolent Communication madlibs

Choose and write:

1) a person in your family
2) a food
3) a feeling I have when my needs are met
4) a need
5) an item of clothing
6) a body part on your face
7) a feeling I have when my needs are not met
8) a need
9) a quotation (something you said)
10) an action many people can do at the same time
11) an internal organ
12) a physical sensation
13) an activity you do to take care of yourself

Have somebody else fill in your blanks and read your story to you:

This morning 1) __________ made me 2) __________ for breakfast. I was feeling 3) __________ because my need for 4) __________ was met. I saw my 5) __________on the floor, and my 6) __________twitched. I was feeling 7) __________ because I really wanted some 8) __________. When I got to school I told my teacher 9) __________ in front of the whole class, which responded by 10) __________. I was sweating. I felt discouraged and I really wanted acceptance and to get along with the people in my life. My 11) __________ tickled, and my feet felt 12) __________. When I think about my feet, I feel concerned because I really want health and well-being. I wonder if I would be willing to 13) __________?

Nonviolent Communication Literature Analysis: Character Empathy

I have created an initial worksheet that teachers can amend (for grade level) and photocopy (attached and following). I know how important it is for teachers to have materials (almost) ready to print; that is why something that seems so basic may be useful. I intend this activity for language arts where the students have already had an introduction to feelings and needs, and/or have lists available. I remember in college writing papers when all I could see were honesty or communication gaps, so I hope this helps jumpstart the NVC school of literary criticism.
best,Bob

Nonviolent Communication Literature Analysis: Character Empathy

Identify a character: __________

Name one specific event that happened to that character (by specific, I mean something that could be captured by a video camera):

What do you think the character was feeling related to that stimulus? Feelings gives us clues about needs being attended to or not attended to.

Uncomfortable feelings often come from unmet needs. Comfortable feelings often come from our understanding of met needs. What needs do you guess were involved for the character in this situation? What comes up for you imagining what was important for the character?

Do you have a sense of more tenderness or understanding of what the character’s experience was like?

Based on the character’s self-connection, can you imagine a request of themselves or somebody else that would be life-serving for the character?

did the character actually choose?

What need was met by that choice?

What need went unmet?

empathy poker with a police officer

I was present for something amazing during a workshop on Nonviolent Communication led by Nancy Kahn at the Alameda Point Collaborative, a place of transitional housing for families receiving various social services.

Three people, aged fourteen to sixteen, joined me outside for a small group introduction to guessing needs using NVC based feelings and needs "Grok" cards. A man wearing sunglasses in a black uniform with a badge saying "Alameda police" approached; we were within earshot of the still running engine of the vehicle he left. One of the three students walked in the opposite direction saying "I hate the police".

She returned, and the officer said something I remember as: "I'm offended." I asked if he would be open to participating in an activity with us where we would ask what was important to him. He selected a feeling of "concerned", and the three teens and I asked questions such as "Are you feeling concerned because you need appreciation?" The student who left and returned chose a format of just guessing the need: "Is your need for competence involved?"

Needs cards he picked up from the guesses laid at his feet included being seen for who he is and acknowledgment. He wanted us to know that he received an award for valor for facing a person with a gun in response to a 911 call, and that he would rush in and risk his life to help us if we called 911.

He guessed that the person who walked away may have had a tragic experience with a law enforcement officer. He said "I get that there are bad cops; I know some. But isn't it like racism to just judge me. Is this process worth it, can't I just say I want you to be more open-minded?"

After more reflections and needs guesses, I asked if he had a sense that we heard what was important to him, and he said "I can't know that, but I hope so."

Six minutes into our nine minute visit, he removed his sunglasses. He told me, "Whatever book you read is a good book." I gave him my business card, and he handed me his. I said that my need for hope and inspiration was met because I had a sense that people tapped their courage to start building a bridge of connection across differences in age and structural power.

During my stay with the San Quentin Teaching Team, I remember a vague wondering of how to better support returnees and their families. Now, through a different entry point, I have met more people with family members living in prison. In just three days thusfar, I have had multiple and various experiences of inspiration and hope. I’m looking forward to three more days of contributing through NVC coaching /empathy support/ leadership development in Alameda next week, and we are exploring possible continued support.